The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Friday, April 19, 2013

Q is for...this isn't going well

Leatherface sat at the keyboard, working on today's A to Z bloggery extravaganza.


GOOD OL' LEATHER!

Since he sounds out words as he hunts and pecks we were startled to learn that P was for Ponderous Pachyderms Plucking our Potatoes. The illiteration was awesome, however there was a minor problem. 


PASS ME A SPUD, BUD?


Glances were exchanged.



'WARE ROPE BURNS, VIDA!
"Erm." said Vida G by way of introducing an uncomfortable topic. "P can't be for pachydermial pluckerage of anything, potato-ish or otherwise. Today is 'Q' day you see. We require a "Q" from you."

"We P'd all over the place yesterday, surprised you missed it."

"I can't do Q! What am I to do?" said an obviously stricken Leatherface.





AGNES

"Git out the chair and let a professional have a whack at it" said the Inevitable Scourge. "Old Aunt Agnes knows a thing or two about Q. Ah'll have this sorted out..." she looked inquiringly at Farm Girl. 

"PDQ?" hazarded Farm Girl.

"There yew go. Now lessee...Quince? Quartet? Quadruplets? Quackenbush? Quatrain ? Hmmm no don't quite fill the bill. I know!"

"Q is for Queezenart!"

The silence was profound.

"Well? Whaddya think?, inquired Aggy.

"Queezenart?", this from Farm Girl.

"Queezenart!", insisted Agnes




IS IT ONE OF THESE?

"What is it? A school of painting? Like Salvadore What's-his-Face and his droopy clocks? Or Da Vinci and the broad with the bad teeth? Or Picasso and who know what the hell he was doing, having seizures at the easel most likely?"

"Is it some kind of tractor Agnes? Come on now spill your guts!"






"Well no! Y'all know what a queezenart is! it's for makin' smoothies with when the veggies are ripe. Like Leatherface and his beetroot, onion and garlic, or Farm Girl and her ginger and carrot mix, or me and my Jack Black and ice. Gee let's not be dumber'n we have to be here!"


THIS HERE'S A QUEEZENART
  
A collective groan issued from those Shed dwellers who, having drawn life's short straw, happened to be present.

"Do you perhaps mean, Agnes dear," said Vida, oozing up next to the keyboard, "this?"

And she tapped C-U-I-S-I-N-A-R-T onto the monitor.

Agnes leaned forward, "Kew is in art? What the hell's that? T'ain't even fo-nettic!"

"Enough! Shut it down this is downright embarrassing." Uncle Mac had had enough.





"So you think you can tap dance your way through through the A to Z challenge that easily, eh? Well I have news for you. You had better be prepared tomorrow or heads, not to put to fine a point on it, will roll."

"Now tomorrow is what letter?"

"Arrgghh!" Said Vida G.

"Arrggh! ARRRRRGGHH! arrgh! Arrrghh!" came from various corners.

"Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" said Dire. It was the best he could do.

DIRE

4 comments:

Glory Lennon said...

Q is tough, but just wait till you get to Z!

Mike W said...

Oh don't worry Mac. Z is for zooks, as in them zooks in the garden that you cut up and fry or shred into cookies or sneakily sneak into the neighbors car when they forget to lock it or drop on a porch and ring the doorbell and run.

All's fair when it comes to giving away zooks.

Christy Birmingham said...

Q is for "Quick let me publish this post and continue with the A-Z challenge" hehe!

Mac Pike said...

Well...yes!