The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Saturday, April 13, 2013

L is for Lycanthrope

Werewolf?



There, wolf.

Ok! That's our post for the day!

Only kidding you know the posts are never that mercifully short here at Uncle Mac's and this one is no exception.

What about our furry, bone gnawing, paper fetching, flea scratching brethren and cistern of the full moon? On the one hand they seem to be everywhere. Can't turn on the TV, rent a DVD, crack a book or whatever without tripping over a shapeshifter of some variety, unless of course it's vampires or zombies or if you are really out of luck, all three.

On the other hand we have never met one, here at the shed. Well one, but we'll get to that in a bit. 

Now, Selene the Death Bringer who bears an uncanny resemblance to our very own Lacey Delacroix (tougher, but a poorer shot, same irritable disposition) seems to find herself



UNCANNY, NO?




hip deep in Lycans every time she turns around, and she turns around frequently.


NO PUPPY BISCUIT FOR YOU GUYS

But I suspect that Selene's world can only be reached via wormhole and we just haven't got around to that trip yet.

Are there any historic lycanthropes to be found?

Well, no.

And, yes!

In 16th century France one apparently could not go outdoors without tripping over werewolves, at least if we go by surviving court records of the time. The list starts with two serial killers named Pierre Burgot and Michel Verdun who were killed for their dirty deeds in 1521.* These deeds included a long list of murdered and cannibalised citizens. The pair supposedly gained their mysterious shape shifting power either from mysterious black riders - forerunners of Nazgul - or from secret ointments, take your pick.





At any rate their story was that they were werewolves, and they stuck to it, right to the end.

Numerous other deranged individuals made the same claim over the next hundred years or so, most were indeed guilty of heinous and blood-soaked acts but some were no doubt local oddballs who were offed either to clear the crime sheet or because someone bore them a grudge. Religious bigotry and superstition no doubt played a part as well.

You can read all about 10 of Europe's more notorious lycanthropes right HERE if you have a mind too.

Our particular run in with a werewolf derived from a Shed-wide affinity for the writings of one Terry Pratchett; in particular his Discworld series. Postulating an infinite universe the Discworld and in particular the City of Ankh-Morpork must exist somewhere; it's just a case of nipping down the proper wormhole. 


DIRE AND NERO

And thus we nipped en masse** in the summer of 2011 loaded with weapons, a picnic lunch and with Dire and Nero tagging along. Who after all is going to notice a few extra wolves, more or less, in a city like Ankh-Morpork?





SGT. ANGUA, SANS FUR

There, among other adventures too numerous to detail we were able to witness Sgt. Angua of the City watch making an arrest.





Farm Girl was able to record this for posterity and the event can be witnessed HERE, and probably should be, it didn't take long.

Nero and Dire were mightily smitten and honestly the rest of us were as well and there was some talk about inviting Angua to join the crew. However, even then we had enough thoroughly eccentric not to mention dangerous characters, even before Millie revealed herself for what she is.

We exchanged business cards and let the matter drop, for the time being.

But you know, wormholes can be a two way street and it got us thinking, we'd be in a world of hurt if a pack of lycanthropic space time travelers showed up at the door on April May Maples Eve or Halloween or whatnot. I mean. we've already had a dragon, a postosuchus and a traveling troops of naughty nuns*** wander in, so who's to say?

So we've stocked up on silver bullets...




And Farm Girl has been practicing**** with silver-tipped arrows...




So we think we have the situation under control, at least for the time being.

And that is about that. L was going to be about Legumes, this being a gardening blog and all but sometimes stuff just happens.

And some more stuff will probably happen tomorrow, when M gets its turn in the barrel.


*Verdun and '21. One senses doggerel...

**The masse at the time did not include Millie, Vida or Agnes

***The later having an open invitation to return anytime

****We had to work in some gratuitous boobery somehow


  








3 comments:

Sandy said...

Warewolves give me the creeps. I guess though some like stories like this, books and or shows...not me, I get nightmares.

A-Z

Mac Pike said...

Tupperwarewolves are the worst.

Glory Lennon said...

And here I thought werewolves were just imagination stuff for scary stories. People are weird....and not just at the shed!