Saturday, August 11, 2012
ITS NUCLEAR ITS CUKLEAR!
"Howdyyyyyyyyyy! Aunt Agnes here and I'm fit to bust I'm so dawg gone happy! I jist picked me some "Ladies Knight" cucumbers from the trellis outside the shed and would yew jist look at these bad boys? Ridin' in on a white charger to rescue a damsel in distress on a quiet Saturday night!"
"WOOO - HOOO! Why this reminds me of the time..."
"AGNES!! Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, Farm Girl here, sorry to interrupt but really...Aggy have we told you that this is a serious gardening blog and that you are not to go posting things we don't know about every time you find a radish that looks more radishsy to you than the general run of radishes? Well have we?"
"Yes, but - "
"In fact have we told you not to post at all?"
"Yes but gosh dern it - "
"As a matter of fact did we not have Leatherface drag you out by the scruff of your scruffy old unwashed neck last time you were Aggying on about a tomato and half a dozen spuds? Did he not tie you to the old oak tree, thereby spurring Uncle Mac to decompose a horrid doggerel song parody that haunts us still and is apt to appear on Helium until they notice it and take it down? Did he not furthermore smear you from bowsprit to mizzenmast with honey and leave you there for Mr. Bear to find?"
"Ah kinda liked the honey slatherin' it reminded me of my girlish youth -"
"AGNES! You know darn well those 'cumbers aren't called "Ladies Knight", there are no cucumbers called "Ladies Knight" and whatever road you were going down with that, well lets just say I'm glad I caught you in time! A woman your age? What are we supposed to do with you you're a bigger pain in the butt than even Pineapple Girl and Uncle M is seriously considering shooting her!
"Well - "
"Well me no wells!"
"Again, Constant Readers, we beg your pardon. Be sure to check back in a few days when I believe Jack has a new episode of "Something Dead from the Shed". Should be a lot of fun, unlike..."
"Well never mind. This is Farm Girl and, I'm very much afraid, Agnes. 'Bye for now!