The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Monday, December 31, 2012



Ah the waning moments of 2012 are heading for the door and 2013 is poised to kick us in the crotch with the unrestrained  enthusiasm of an irritated stripper. There was hi jinx and hilarity at the shed, and a plethora of New Years Resolutions:

Farm Girl resolved:

A. To plant neither parsnip nor white turnip.

B. To wear more clothing, at least when its cold out.

(Not sure I can endorse either of these, but hey they're her resolutions.)

Leatherface resolved:

A. One "Children's Hour" per month

B. Never again to make sausages from a busload of nuns.

(Well good on both! The Children's Hour is a huge hit, and those sausages were just nasty!)

Agnes resolved not to drink any more:

(This one is a no brainer on several counts. It is impossible to drink more than Aggy does already)

Mrs. BobKat resolved merely to chase away, and not actually to  eat, Mrs. Bunny and the bunny-lets.

Although enthusiastically endorsed by bunnies everywhere, I have my doubts about this one. Mrs. BobKat is remarkably forgetful at times.

Jack resolved:

A. To present us with one "Something Dead from the Shed" each month.

B. To reveal what he overheard the day Uncle Mac revealed some secrets to Millie Quackenbush, and what Uncle learned in return.

About freakin' time!

Pineapple Girl resolved:

A. To steal no more pineapples.

B. To explain how it is that pineapples, in defiance of all knowledge to the contrary, grow and indeed, flourish in Northern New Jersey. (Or at least on the part adjacent to the Garden Shed)

C. To persuade someone to explain how she got out of the cross hairs and into every ones good graces, here at Uncle Macs.

Well. Hard to steal what you have been invited to take, B & C will need some fancy 'splainin'.

Delacroix resolved:

A. To stop standing hooters deep in water.

B. To explain what the heck she's doing deep in the South American rain forest with a fragile wimpy girl from Catawba, New York.

Well we don't want Lacey getting all wrinkly and as for B, as above, its WAY past time!


Mallory resolved:

A. To get more involved in shed operations

B. To tell us a bit about mountain climbing

C. To tell us even more about gardening in adverse conditions.*

Eh. We'll see.

Dire and Nero resolved to chase the UPS driver on every possible occasion.

Really went out on a limb with that one, didn't you, guys?

Millie Quackenbush resolved:

A. To show up once in a while.

B. To 'splain how she bakes all that yummy stuff.

C. To further explain how she appears as she does to the left, most of the time, a grey, mature, completely dotty although admittedly still striking ol bat with an inexplicable hankerin' for Uncle Mac**...

And like this when caught in an unguarded moment! Because we figure there must be a reason!

All this splainin' might not leave much time for growin' turnips, I'm thinkin'

Blinky resolved to introduce us all to the little ermin-lettes when they are old enough.

Vida G. resolved:

A. To wear even less clothing than Farm Girl.

B. To interview even more animals and vegetables, and other life forms that generally do not talk a great deal.

C. To learn to shoot and use the space-time altering worm holes, because, after all, everyone else does.

Atta Gal, Vida!

Uncle Mac resolved:

A. To give us a "Who's got the Links" on a quarterly basis whether we want one or not.

B. To get to the bottom, once and for all, of why we have an Aunt Agnes to contend with.

C. To bring dibbling with Farm Girl to a level of perfection yet unseen in modern agriculture.

Well, we would like to know what's up with Agnes.

Well that's about it, once again we've gotten through a post with a minimum of substance and a lot of pictures, always a good thing in my view! To all of you who have been loyal Sheddites for our first year and for those about to join the ranks, thank you, and have the very best of New Years, in safety, health, and gardening goodness!

From all*** of us at Uncle Mac's Garden Shed!

*Like the current administration.

**Milly and Farm Girl notwithstanding there is no "explicable" hankering for Uncle Mac. Starving salt water crocodiles display only a mild interest, and then move on.  

***Well, you know...

1 comment:

Glory Lennon said...

Wonderful post Uncle Mac. Wishing a Happy New year to everyone at the shed.