The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Sunday, September 16, 2012

WOOT! WOOT! WOULD Y'ALL LOOKY HERE?

FREE TO A GOOD HOME
Howdy! It's me Aunt Agnes and Ah'm happier than Queen Cleopatra the day somebody told her that she had a nice asp. Would yew jist look at this fine product? Friend o' mine from Minnesota told me about it and Ah cannot wait for it to hit the market! Finally something for us farmin' Ladies on a cold and lonely night!

HELP US OBI-WAN CORNOBI!
Hoo-weeee! Whah, Ah remember some field corn we grew back In Texas as long as my arm and thick as a forgotten zucchini! Long as the batteries hold out Ah reckon a girl could pretty much...

"AAAAGGGNESSSS!!"

"That is not what you think it is! That is for children!"

"Oh Farm Girl that is jist sick! Even Ah do not countenance..."

"It is a corn holder, Agnes. It is nothing else. It is to encourage little kids to eat more vegetables! All that switch does is turn on a colored light to make the corn look like a light saber. It does nothing else at all!"

silence...

"It don't shake, rattle and roll?"

"It does not."

"It don't spin like a top?"

"No spinning either."

"It don't work like a piston on an oil field pump?"

"NO Agnes. It does nothing! It's a corn holder. It holds corn. For kids to eat from and pretend they are Skywalker or the Princess or what have you. Do you understand?"

"Well what in the wide world o' sports do Ah want with it then? Ain't got enough teeth for corn on the cob anyways and Ah don't need another flashlight!"

Ah am sorry, fans of Uncle Mac's Garden Shed Ah figured Ah was on to somethin' here. Well thank yew for readin' anyway and we'll see y'all next time, when Ah'll give y'all a crash course in bronco bustin'.





EDITORS NOTE: Please note, at no time did we sink as low as a "corn hole" reference. This is a class act, this blog of ours.





  


6 comments:

M. J. Joachim said...

Well they never needed one of those in my house...kids love getting melted butter up to their ears and eyeballs, slippery sliding down their arms and eating corn kernels like they were typing on a type writer or something. Great story, Mac, but I won't be ordering the gadget, my friend. Wishing you lots of luck on your sales though

Mac Pike said...

I actually use galvanized 10 penny common nails for corn holders, had the same set for 2 decades. (This is true)

Dan Shaw said...

Don't they have sepecial homes for people like Aunt Agnes?

Glory Lennon said...

Wow, I can barely type for laughing! If Luke Skywalker's Princess sister didn't already have Hans Solo...anyway. Thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

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Mike W said...

Almost busted a gut...