The Shed

The Shed
The Shed

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Garage and rummage sales yield unusual gardening tools

Hi its Aunt Agnes agin' stoppin' by with some quick info!

Ya know, nobody ever uses "Uncle Mac" and "genious" in the same sentence but the man occasionally demonstrates a low form of animal cunning. The sort you see in salmon fer instance, when somehow they return unerringly to their home rivers when its spawnin' time, or in the humble woodchuck who never fails to find the right hole. I understand that the latter skill set is actually beyond Uncle Mac when he's in his cups but of course that's just hear say.

But what...

[ Editors note: Just making the observation that a man who can manipulate space-time without making fatal errors cannot be a complete idiot! ]

[ Farm Girl's rebuttal to the editor's unwarranted intrusion into Aggy's post: "Wanna bet?" ]   

Erm? Are ya'll done buttin' in?

Anyway I wanted to tell you about the unusual but useful and CHEAP tools Mac brought home from the rummage sale t'other day.

Oh I know whatcher thinkin'! Its a blender and a Granny mirror! What in the wide world of sports are we gonna do with those?

Well, first of all, we are gonna put dryed egg shells in the blender and reduce them to powder, along with just a wee bit of epsom salt. This, if we are unimaginative makes a nice side dressing for plants that we wish to dress, sideways.

But, if we chuck in room temperature water we can make a nice calcium magnesium shake to pour right on the mulch covering our plants roots! 

Of course we have to shake the hell out of the container to make sure the calcium does not precipatate to the bottom, y'all know how intractable calcium can be.

And then Uncle Mac makes us all pina coladas in that blender! They are crunchy and taste like a dose of salts but hey, there's an s-load of rum and what might actually be coconut in there, lets not offend the old buzzard.

"Did you clean this blender before you mixed drinks?", Farm Girl asked one time.

"Course I did."  said the antique lyin' sack of organic fertilzer.

That leaves the Granny mirror. 

What's on yourn squash? Squash bugs!

Where do they lay eggs? Under the leaves.

How do y'all find these nasty bastids? Y'all look under the leaves.

What is the easiest way on both the gardener and the plant to do so? With a mirror.

Well there y'all have it, Uncle Mac blunders into something useful, make of it what ya will.

This is Aunt Aggy, Have a festive 4th of July and thanks for readin'!


Raymond Alexander Kukkee said...

Well, see Mac? The old girl recognizes 'yer genius at work !

Anonymous said...

Brought back bad memories of making spaghetti at my boyfriends house. I couldn't figure out what all the little stones in the spaghetti were that were getting caught between my teeth. Then he says, "Oh I used the spag. strainer to clean my fish tank gravel...guess I didn't wash it out well enough." AAAaaaghhh
So do wash that blender well!

Mac Pike said...

The FISH TANK!!!! Yack!

Mike W said...

For a minute there, I thought Aggie was the tool. But don't think about that. I just need to remember this post if you ever offer me a margarita or something.

Glory Lennon said...

Um...note to self...let's get Uncle Mac ANOTHER blender for un-garden-y kind of blending.

melinda decker said...

That is true I actually like her! I feel you are too good quality to mark intelligence! Thanks for posting.
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