Friday, February 10, 2012
DOGMATIC DOGGEREL DOGGEDLY DECLAIMED
G is for Gardening
A is for Asparagus; it makes us pee fouly
B for the Broccoli we plant with our trowely
C is for Cauliflower, esteemed by the bunny
D for cold Drizzle; makes the gardeners nose runny.
E for the Elephantine leaves of the Collard
Beloved of Texan, Sicilian and Lollard.
It grows by the fence, right next to the phlox,
And we boil it with pride, and ginormous pork hocks
F is for Fennel, a herb of much pleasantry,
(Mixed with bread crumbs and onions and stuffed into pheasantry.)
G is for Garlic so pungent and smelly
H for Horseradish to warm every belly
I's for Italian herbage and spice
Which we stir into sauces to make them taste nice.
J for sweet Jellies made from the strawberry
Which will o'er run the garden, if the gardener ain't wary.
K for the crop that makes manly hearts throb,
No woosy kale here, we're talking Kohlrab!
L is for Leek and the tender Legume
M for the Melons we'll grow if there's room.
N is for Not much that grows in the garden,
So we'll just pass it by, (while begging its pardon)
O is for Onion and also for Okra
P is for Pumpkin, round and hefty, like Oprah.
Q for the Question that watering poses:
"Should we water by can, or just whip out our hoses?"
R's for the Radish that won't grow in Las Vegas,
and for Rhubarb, Raspberry, and plump Rutabagas.
S for the Squashes all gardeners should try,
The same goes for Sage. (But avoid Salsify!)
T's for the ripe red and juicy Termater,
To bad we've used P, we could work in "Pertater"
U is for Ungulates, like fiesty mule deer,
Who will slice through our corn like a well sharpened spear
V's for all veggies so tender and fine
W for grapes, or their by-product Wine.
X is for my X, who plagues Delaware,
Where I hear she grows weeds. (Though I really don't care)
Y is for Yam, and also for Yarrow
Which is useful for something, though choices are narrow.
Z means Zuchinni, which we grow by the pile,
And thrust upon neighbors, who try bravely to smile.
Tho' this ode is too long, and alarmingly odd,
There's one good thing about it; it's over! Thank God!
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