CRITTERS WE'D LIKE TO SEE IN THE SHED

Looks like old Leatherpuss has been telling you folks how to deal with pest animals amidst the veggies. Looks like he's fixin' to drag it out, one critter at a time, maybe get 5 -6 more posts out of it. This is what I get for letting just anybody wander by the shed. 

I'll deal with those pests in one paragraph. Have pests? Build a fence. Have big pests? Build a bigger fence! Do the pests climb the fence? Electrify the fence, and if none of that is effective, shoot the pest!

There, wasn't that easy? Wait until you see the multi page epic Leathermug turns it into.

But there are some critters that you definitely want hanging around the shed, wolves and the like although opinions vary on that. This endearing little fellow on the left is one such, and folks in the Southwest probably know him well.

Those who do not, meet Bassariscus astutus, also known as the ring-tailed cat or miner's cat. Ring-tails are of course not cats at all but are procyonids, which means they are closely related to raccoons as their striped bushy tails

might lead one to suspect. They are tiny creatures compared to raccoons, their body size somewhere between that of a large grey squirrel and a small domestic cat. They also lack the boldness and sheer gall of their raccoon cousins, are almost entirely nocturnal and tend to shy away from humans and their domestic livestock and pets.

However, their essentially mild dispositions and extremely curious nature make them relatively easy to befriend if obtained young, and even older ones will acclimate well to people if treated properly. They make wonderful, entertaining pets once they get over their 

initial shyness.

Well, ok, but why would we want one or two living in the garden shed? Because they eat the very things we want to get rid of, bugs, spiders and rodents of all varieties. They do a much better job than the average fat and lazy house tabby, and can go places where wolves simply do not fit.

The miners and ranchers who moved into the old west recognized this fact and made haste to make friends with the little creatures, going so far as to build them houses from packing crates, placed near enough to the stove to provide warmth. The nickname "Miner's Cat" gives some indication of the prevalence of the practice.

If there is one downside to inviting ring-tails in, it is that their curiosity and climbing skills mean that they are constantly into everything. But hey! It's the garden shed, do we really care?

 All right we have the Southwest covered very nicely, what do we have for Northeastern sheds? We are way out of ring-tailed cat territory and they wouldn't like it up here in the north, anyway they prefer rocky desert environs.

Fortunately we have ermines, or stoats, or big old weasels if you prefer, and if there is one thing that ermines like better than killing and eating a rodent, its killing and eating a bigger one. They are even better at it than the ring-tails.

Stoat, ermine or weasel the scientific name is Mustela erminea. Ermine is a stoat in its fine white winter coat, summer 

garb is brown on top and white beneath.

Only 12" long not counting tail the stoat is ideally designed to go into rodent burrows after its prey. It favors mice, voles, rats, chipmunks and will kill squirrels and rabbits larger than itself when need be.

Unlike our little ring tail-friend, stoats are not cuddly pets. A few have probably been tamed from time to time but nipped fingers, which after all look like a plump and juicy mouse, are always a possibility.

Stoats go where the rodents are, and that can well be sheds and barns. They do an excellent 

 job of controlling these offensive and crop destroying vermin and are therefore always welcome at Uncle Mac's.

Vida Guerra's anti-rodent potential at this time is neither known nor relevant, but we can't help but feel that there is room for her in the shed.

Perhaps as a roving reporter, interviewing other shed dwellers, or perhaps the critters, or why not? Perhaps she can interview the vegetables themselves.

"This is Vida Guerra live from Uncle Mac's corn patch, where today we'll be interviewing a Country Gentleman corn stalk. Pardon me, Mr. Stalk, but could I have a few moments of your time?"

"I'm all ears, Vida."

"No, really, I need a new agent. This crap has to stop!"

Vida, really, wearing actual ermine hides where Mrs. Stoat can see them!

You take those off right now young lady!










Well OK! That wraps this extravaganza up for now, thanks for visiting Uncle Mac's garden Shed!

THE CHILDREN'S HOUR WITH LEATHERFACE - The Woodchuck

Hi boys and girls and welcome back to the Children's Hour with your favorite cut-up, Leatherface. A D.A.R. tourist bus slid into the ditch out by the main road so we'll be having lady fingers at snack time today, isn't that nice?

Last time we were discussing garden pests and we touched on Mrs. Bunny, a gentle soul who is easily dissuaded from consuming the prized veggie crop by the simple expedient of erecting a 3 foot tall poultry wire fence. That won't do us a bit of good with the next member of the rogues gallery, the all too common ground hog, woodchuck, or Chuck the Destructor as he is known is some gardening circles.

Look at this critter! A fat, affable fellow by the look of him, but never forget, he's a rodent! A really big rodent but like his close relatives, squirrels, rats and members of Congress all he wants to do is eat, screw, and steal your stuff. Particularly all that delicious broccoli, cauliflower, collards, well actually, just about everything you were planning to enjoy with your family and friends.

That 3' tall wire fence will not get it done. Chuck can easily dig under it, and will do so with single minded efficiency. If you set wire into the ground to deter him, it needs to be at least 18" deep and that is a real chore. The wire will also deteriorate rapidly. Thus thwarted Chuck, who is a better climber than you would give him credit for, will simple swarm over it.

Chuck expends a lot of energy digging his burrow, and can not easily been driven off. There are all sorts of varmint repellents, usually predator scents of one type or another like wolf or coyote urine, they may have a temporary deterrent effect but Chuck is hungry, and not stupid. He may smell essence of concentrated tiger balls but he knows full well there is no concentration of tigers. And there go your carrots.

Realistically, you have three choices when faced with a determined ground hog. You can live trap and remove him, you can put him down, or you can electrify the fence. 

Live trapping is simple, chucks will willingly enter a properly baited trap - fruit is popular - but there may be a problem. Some states have laws against its citizens moving wildlife about, since the government obviously knows better than you do what the nature of the problem is. In that case, some folks might take Chuck for a long ride into some other part of the country and release him anyway, but do it at night. Find out what the rules are in your state and let your conscience be your guide.

A .22 long rifle bullet is perfectly sufficient to relocate Chuck to the big chard patch in the sky, but again, there are concerns. Is there room, given the layout of your property and that of your neighbors, if any, to allow for a safe shot? Are you a good enough shot to kill Chuck humanely? 

You'll ideally want to place that bullet either between the eye and the ear, viewed from the side, or right between the eyes head on. There is no benefit in merely wounding the fat fellow. 

And of course you'll wish to take the law into consideration, and whether or not to bend it.

The electrified fence works very well indeed, and has the added advantage  of deterring several other categories of garden pests. However, even if you can scrounge some of the materials and do the work yourself, it is not an inexpensive proposition, and the larger the garden the larger the cost. 

Chuck is a tough customer with a hearty appetite, and you may have to make a tough choice if you wish to enjoy the fruits of your gardening labors.

That wraps it for now, thanks as always for stopping by for the Children's Hour!