T is for Toad House

"Ah, summertime and the wimmens are sleazy!"

"What's that?"

"Livin' is easy?"

"Hmmm. Must have misheard the lyrics; it happens. An entire pseudo-science has grown up around the phenomenon of misheard lyrics, called 'mondogreenology'."

Well anyway summertime, and the garden is bursting with veggies! Problem is, it's also bursting with bugs!

ICK!

And slugs!




YUCH!

Really, it's depressing. Let one wee collard show it's leafy butt and bugs and slugs are all over it like the Administration on a taxpayer dollar!

What to do?

Why get help, of course! Recruit some toads. They eat slugs AND bugs and leave your hard earned money strictly alone!

MR. TOAD
(WHO WE SHOULD NEVER, EVER, DISCOMMODE)

It's easy enough to put Mr. Toad in the garden, but what is to prevent the contrary beast from hippity hopping out?

Nothing!

So give the we critter what he or she wants. A pan full of frequently changed water at ground level so that they may hydrate the toadly hide, AND...

A TOAD HOUSE!
 

Yes, a Toad House, or Hostel if you prefer, to keep our warty friends out midsummer heat during scorching weather. Easily cobbled together out of miscellaneous bric-a-brac. Or in this case simply bric. Always put them on the shady side of the raised beds or whatever.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE

Mr. Toad? What do you think of all this?

" Well Ah woke up dis mo'nin' Ah, et mahsef a bug!
Yeah Ah woke up dis mo'nin' an 'Ah et mahsef a bug!
Goin' to the Toad House, gonna have a juicy...slug!"


Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, straight from the hopper's mouth. And that is why "T" is for "Toadhouse", and not for the tillerman.